The Costs of Mountaintop mining in the Appalachians
The Costs of Mountaintop mining in the Appalachians
Your title tells what your essay is going to talk about; nonetheless, it does not capture the reader’s eyes. I suggest if you be more creative on your topic’s choice. The way you state your topic matters a lot since it makes the reader anxious to read more. The reader gains interest and attention when your topic is eye-catching. Your introductory paragraph is okay since you have stated the subject of your essay following the thesis statement. Although you had too much to mention in the first paragraph making your thesis not as clear as it should. Your introductory should be for the purpose of highlighting your main points of the essays rather than giving details. At the end of your introduction, there is no relationship or transition statement to mention what you are going to discuss in the following paragraph. Having a transition statement at the end of every paragraph gives your essay a good flow. For instance, at the end of the first paragraph, you have completed by taking about how authorities should ban coal companies from producing coal by mountaintop mining technique. Therefore, your second paragraph should entirely discuss why the coal companies should be banned and how the mountaintop mining technique works.
- Main point 1
Your first main body paragraph is not a good start. If you have started by telling the reader of the second stage, not mentioning what the first stage is. On the other hand, the first part is handled nicely since you have provided evidence where necessary. You have a good flow of the effects extending them to the third paragraph. The third paragraph is well stated, and it catches the reader’s attention.
- Main point 2
After the effects, it was brilliant to state the consequences on the natural geologic structure of the Appalachians, by first stating the most important one. Other consequences follow closely with the evidence of the happenings given.
- Main point 3
In the paragraph where you state about the second long-term stage of operation having taking few years should come before you start listing the consequences of mountaintop mining techniques. You were not yet done with the effects when you jumped to consequences. It is important to give your essay a good flow of events.
- Main point 4
After you are done with the consequences or outcomes, you need to complete that paragraph with a transition statement again that will connect it to your next paragraph. This is because when the reader reads your first line of the paragraph that states, “To be useful as a source of energy, coal needs to be wasted and processed.” You cannot clearly know what the paragraph is all about.
That paragraph would be far much better when you introduced it with a hook statement for the reader to attracted and understand the main points there.
- Main point 5
In the paragraph where you have quoted the statement, “coal means jobs” is well illustrated since you led into the references that supported it.
You could have concluded your paper differently rather than concluding by stating the solutions. It is advisable if you conclude from a general point of view. The solutions could be discussed in a different paragraph.
- Overall Statement
Your paper provided enough evidence and details by illustrating your points well. Look more into your organization of your work to avoid consequences coming before effects of MTM. It was a paper of a good standard.
Effect of Laughter and Humor
The introduction is well written, but it fails to introduce fully what the purpose of the paper. Instead of explaining the effect of laughter the author just start to give a reason and thus fails to inform his audience effectively. A good beginning of an essay has an explanatory statement that elaborates the main point in the paper. Though, the topical sentence is used the essay effectively lack a convincing thesis statement. The author should have indicated that people require being happy to take care of their health.
- Second Paragraph
The paragraph is well contracted with a topical sentence at the start that indicates the first argument for laughter and humor among the aged. Nonetheless, the benefit of humor and laughter cuts across the age bracket and is more so beneficial to children as well grown up individuals. Also, the author introduces another effect of humor and laughter in this same paragraph and thus mixes up issues that could have been addressed in a specific paragraph. For instance, he indicates that humor and laughter aim in enhancing communication. This fact is good enough to be discussed separately. Nonetheless, humor and laughter do not aid in effecting communication, but rather they are a form of communication aids. Just like a gesture, a smile can mean something that while communicating.
- Third Paragraph
It is a fact that humor and laughter help ease tension in people with low self-esteem. However, it not scientific proven that laughter or humor can cure depression and anxiety. I do agree that people with mild depression have been found to improve while put in a condition that makes them forget their problem, but this does not mean that the condition ensures their wellbeing. There is a patient who does not improve even in the best of humor.
- Fourth Paragraph
In service delivery such as nursing, courtesy is key in delivering quality care. People do not like people that scare or threaten them. Thus, a service with a smile or laughter works to the benefit of both the patient and the service provider. I agree with the author that in therapy processes nurses need to be humorous to ease the tension that ensures the patient provide even his secretive information he may have about his or her health.
- Fifth Paragraph
The author repeats his argument that he discusses in paragraph two. Therefore, the benefit of humor and laughter to adult should have been discussed with that of the aged and the infants. Medical practitioner do train their professionals to feed patients with hope rather than disheartening them in their difficult time.
The conclusion fails to deliver what the paper talks about. The author goes on to talk that humor and laughter do not stop the process of aging. Instead, the author should have summarized all the main ideas of the paper in just one paragraph. So that even without reading the whole essay on can get what there is if he reads the introduction and the conclusion.