Who makes us angry?

Chapter 6

1. Who makes us angry?
2. What role do stories play in the creation of our feelings and actions?
3. What are Victim, Villain, and Helpless Stories?
4. When we’re feeling upset, why is it important to get back to the facts?
5. Why should we ask what role we may be playing in the problem?
6. Why should we start by assuming that others are reasonable and rational?

Chapter 7
1. When we care the most about something, how are we likely to express ourselves?
2. In order to make it safe for others to hear our views, why start with the facts? Why not start with our story? Why share our story at all? How should we share our story?
3. Why ask others to share their views?

Chapter 8
1. When others start to attack us verbally, what part of their Path to Action do they typically share?
2. How do we help them share what they’re really thinking?
3. What does it mean to ‘explore others’ paths?
4. What is it we’re trying to do when we use our AMPP skills?

Chapter 9
1. When a crucial conversation comes to an end, what mistakes do we often make? Discuss how you can avoid making those mistakes in future crucial conversations.
2. What are the four different methods of decision making? Why is it often important to decide up front which method you’re going to use?

Chapters 10-11
1. Discuss which of the cases in the “Yeah, but” chapter most applies to you. How can you use the advice for that case to improve a particular result or relationship?
2. What two principles are most helpful to keep in mind when you’re just beginning to apply the crucial conversations skills to your everyday conversations?
3. How can you use the “Coaching for Crucial Conversations” table to help you prepare to hold a specific crucial conversation?

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