RES-866 Qualitative Analysis Assignment: Transcript 4

RES-866 Qualitative Analysis Assignment: Transcript 4

1-M.m4a (1-M)

Researcher: [00:00:00] It we are recording you now. So first the purpose of my study is to investigate what factors of resilience online doctoral graduates perceive influenced their successful completion.

Researcher: [00:00:14] So of course your information is valuable to my study that will help to create a profile online for our students in how those resilience factors can contribute to success successful completion. My goal is to provide you with a case study as well including an individual resilience profile. And once I’m completed with my study hopefully that will be interesting. The interview last about 30 to 60 Minutes just depending on your answers and everything I will ask each question and then I will provide you with the opportunity to answer.

RES-866 Qualitative Analysis Assignment: Transcript 4

Researcher: [00:00:46] And then I’ll ask you any follow up questions if I have since this interview was digitally recorded the only thing I ask is that you speak as clearly as you can but at a normal pace no faster or slower than what is comfortable for you then I will let you finish what you’re saying before I respond or ask another question. So there’s a slight pause that would be why.

Researcher: [00:01:06] And then confidentiality of course will be maintained if and when any information from the interview is published in my final study. If you are quoted an alias will be assigned for anonymity. And then of course all transcripts and recordings of the interview will be housed in a private password protected computer accessible to myself only. And you may end the interview at any time without any consequences.

Researcher: [00:01:27] Any questions?

Researcher: [00:01:30] I do not have any questions.

Researcher: [00:01:30] OK great well then I’ll go ahead and get started. So again, it’s just a series of questions and the first set involve just different types of social support that you received throughout your program. So just first overall what types of social support maybe like moral support anything you thought as a social support. What type Did you receive during your doctoral program?

1-M: [00:01:54] Personally it was definitely my husband and my daughters, my mom. To be honest. I was a little bit more private than probably most doctoral learners. I did not let most people know in my life that I was doing this. I kept it very private very you close friends. Things like that with the close friends that did know were very supportive and understood when I had to say no I could do some things and different things like that

1-M: Professionally R was in the program with me when we started. It was a group of six of us that started about the same time. Is that. R is very much like me. I think finding somebody that is we call ourselves the highfliers. We are very determined. We were determined together. And you know we support each other through lots of different frustrating times. I was there for him he was there for me. And of course, Dr. E I don’t know if you know doctor E. Amazing. Having a strong chairperson professionally and personally she was very supportive to me.

RES-866 Qualitative Analysis Assignment: Transcript 4

1-M: [00:03:23] I definitely it and have made it without any of them you know so personally and professionally I had a lot of social support with that.

Researcher: [00:03:33] OK what types of support specifically would you seek from your peers like your classmates. How did that work with that small group?

1-M: [00:03:44] Throughout the entire program is that where I am I kind of get stuck on the dissertation part.

Researcher: [00:03:48] Throughout your program for your dissertation and whatever was most important to you.

1-M: [00:03:52] Okay. The six of us worked together especially during the course work we’re all you know either in the same class or at least in the same classes not necessarily in the same sections and we would discuss things a lot of group texting was amazing. And group emails really did help. So, we used technology because four of them at the time were in Virginia. And ironically they all four worked together. One person was in Dallas and I was here in South Carolina. So, we used technology to the best of our advantages to share and go I didn’t get that from this course or I didn’t get that from this discussion. Different things like that. We would all you know go hey I found this great research and share the information. I found this great source and there are a few more that it might help you with that. We really not shared the workload but we shared our knowledge with each other instead of some things, Some programs maybe or some situations in life can be very competitive and the like.

1-M: We knew we needed each other and we held on tight and we did. We definitely pushed each other through the coursework and the residencies and things like that. But then when the dissertation phase kicked in. That’s where, this was a little harder for some than others to support because ah yes, I’m done with the coursework and can relax a little bit and I’m like no I stop I won’t keep going. And I was determined I was not going to do that.

1-M: [00:05:39] So that’s where rich kicked in, R and I support each other the others are not finished. And honestly nowhere near finishing at this point. And they realize that stopping and not moving along has been detrimental to them. But hopefully our finishing and completing and walking in graduation this past week has been inspiring to them. So I hope that helped.

Researcher: [00:06:07] How would you. How do you feel that that experience with that group impacted your progress and your overall success?

1-M: [00:06:16] It definitely kept me going. You need to know that you’re not the only one in the program that feels this way. Of all of us there were. Three of well four ladies’ mothers only three of us wives. And you know and knowing that somebody else understands I’m tired of not being able to spend time with my children. I’m tired of being able to spend time with my husband. But you know it’s quality over quantity a lot of time. So knowing that somebody else understands how you feel. Definitely I wouldn’t say you need a support group but you need a support system. You know it definitely helps. Connect with people especially when you’re in an online class you’re not physically there with them though to actually have the phone conversations and different things like that.

1-M: It definitely helped and they were very supportive. I put that in there that my dad passed away suddenly and very unexpectedly. Right before Christmas several years ago during class coursework and they were very supportive. What can we do? Can we help you. You know luckily it was during the break but still afterwards they were very supportive. So not just during the doctoral program but with life in itself. You definitely connect with other people. And it definitely was essential for me and I don’t think I would have been able to go on as strong and as hard and fast and determined as I was if I had not had them.

Researcher: [00:07:59] OK. And then you mentioned your family. How did they support you and how did that impact your completion?

1-M: [00:08:06] I am a little bit of a neat freak and I cannot work if my house is not clean. I mean I just I really can’t. And so they kept the House clean they did all the, they took care of a lot of the chores my husband did the grocery shopping. Both daughters really stepped up. And the biggest thing was when I needed for them to be quiet because I am ADHD and easily distracted. They knew and a lot of times because would we’re gonna and go and just go hang out somewhere and they would leave the house. You know because if I knew that were in there doing something fun I wanted to go join them. So helping me. Honestly, they got out of my way when I needed them to.

1-M: [00:08:50] And then when I was sorting the articles and you know different things just all kinds of research they would help me sort it out. And I remember that was in that stack over there so I think feeling like they were part of it which they really were really helped them as much as it helped me you know to be supportive and that’s.

Researcher: [00:09:12] Great. And what about your chair or your committee members what types of support other than just academic. What other support did you seek from them?

1-M: [00:09:23] Sometimes it felt like I just don’t know what I’m doing right here. I don’t know how I want to do that. I don’t know how I want to be just different things.

1-M: They were supportive with a lot of mainly emotionally but also academically because we would have a lot of deep discussions. I’m more of a qualitative person and some of them are quantitative. So it would kind of stretch me and make me think about some things in different ways which was helpful. I would talk about we would all talk about our studies and what we wanted to do and how we wanted to move with our dissertations. All throughout all phases of it not at this point now I’m helping them a little bit. Not that I’m any expert on it but you know it does it does help to discuss things and kind of just talk it out a lot of times even if say much they were listening and kind of just responding or saying I don’t understand you. You know so that really did help a lot.

Researcher: [00:10:25] And then were there any faculty throughout just your program not dissertation but the rest of your program that you received any extra support from.

1-M: [00:10:35] I would have to say Dr. A. She was my very first professor and then I just felt that connection with her she was just so sweet. You know so nice.

1-M: And it’s funny because I don’t really get to talk to anybody it’s over email but you feel it from them you can tell a lot by the way somebody writes or email you’d just get vibes off of that. Then she ended up being a residency professor at second residency and she and K are were both very supportive and like wow you’re real and I kind of needed that because I did not have a good first experience at a residency and it was OK but half of it was good. Half of it was not that I’ll leave it at that. But Dr. A in the end she said you know if you don’t have a content expert I’d love to serve I was like, whoa, I was like you believe in my study that much? She was like, yes, I think it’s fabulous. I mean, So I really felt her support a lot more of a person along with Dr E and I have to say Dr. M, she remembers my name from some complications with a former methodologist of mine and she didn’t jump right to it and try to fix the problem. She tried to work through it and I’ll be honest when you say Dr. M l I kind of go hmm because she knows what she’s doing. And if she says it it’s got to be right you know.

1-M: [00:12:13] And she was definitely a supportive person in not necessarily directly but her support you know kind of trickled down through DR. E through me to me so. I’m trying to think a couple other people that just were amazing. And of course I’ve forgotten their names right now, but there were several along the way some yay eight weeks is up. But it was never anything bad I won’t say other than probably one that was just a little bit difficult. But you’re in a doctoral program I expect it to be difficult. You know I don’t expect to be roses and sunshine all the time so I feel like some of those people were placed in my life and my path to push a little bit. So I definitely think that Dr. A, Dr. G , and Dr. M are the main names I can think of that really helped in a supportive way.

Researcher: [00:13:16] OK. And then you mentioned you didn’t you know you had a few friends that you know knew about your program. How did they support you? You know how do you feel that was important?

1-M: [00:13:28] The main thing that I can think of they just sound mean but it’s really not because I knew I needed to do this. They stopped inviting me to go and hang out. I know that sounds silly that would send me a text and say I miss seeing you but you a note. And they didn’t aggravate me about trying to get out because they knew I was pushing through and I was trying to do everything else and I had to put them on the back burner. My two best friends of course would go out of town every September for a long weekend. And they knew if I stepped out of the room or something I was either I was dealing with schoolwork and when I finished this one friend said yay we can go out of town without the laptop. I’m like yes absolutely no more laptop you know. So the friends in that way were very supportive. And I remember the night I defended my dissertation. I had one friend who kept texting me and she knew I needed to be distracted. She knew if not I would sit here and just you know get all nervous. But she kept texting and hey do this. Don’t forget to go to the bathroom you know and making these funny jokes and things like you don’t want to wet your pants in the middle of your dissertation defense and you know stuff like that so that really helps. Major support you know from friends leaving me alone but communicating with me is not so invasive kind of way than that.

Researcher: [00:15:04] I mean if you’ve definitely mentioned a lot of support they receive from various sources. What. What do you think was the most impactful source of support that you received what really got you through more than anything else?

1-M: [00:15:20] I think. My family my girls whether they realized what they were doing was helpful but I think, I’m gonna say the support in the fact that they are watching me. I knew that they were watching me the whole time and I wanted them to see yes it’s hard. Yes it is frustrating and stressful and there were tears along the way but my girls I wanted to set an example for them.

1-M: My husband only had one massive melt down and that right, I finished in July. It was one of those. I’m running out of steam. I cannot do this. And normally he would say if I said I just don’t know if I can do this anymore he would say you do what you need to do. And he knew not to argue with me because I would argue, but when I had the major break down at the end he said are you done, I mean I cried for an hour. OK and I never do that. He said are you done. I just can’t do this anymore and he said I never told you what to do but you are going to finish this. You are gone, You are too close or you’re not going to stop. So my family right here my girls and my husband were definitely the most supportive because they watch me day in and day out. No. All of them went through you know and give me just one moment. You the room.

[00:16:54] [short pause]

Researcher: [00:17:03] OK well moving on more some more situational questions when you are presented with particularly difficult challenges throughout your journey. What types of strategies did you use to stay optimistic?

1-M: [00:17:16] I focused on not what I thought would have been a better choice. That’s so easy to do, really do you not understand this you know I focused on OK I have to do what they ask me to do.

1-M: And I don’t know if you know S. He is a funny guy. He told me he was my admissions counselor so I guess because I had lots of different types counselors. And he was like you’re going to have hard times you’re going to do that, focus and keep your eye on the ball and focus on your end goal.

1-M: And I had an inspiration wall and I wrote that down right when I started the program and I put it on the walls I had all these things all over the walls when I get frustrated. I would look up and see different things. So I kept the inspiration wall with different little quotes quite honestly and some pictures up on my wall for different reasons. I’ll leave it at that. Some were positive some were a little bit more of Ha, I’m going to prove you wrong.

1-M: And I just focused on the end game. Why did I join this get in this program? Why did I do this. I wanted to become a doctor and I had promised myself if I wanted to stop I would have stopped at 30 hours. And I chose to keep going. Once I started boom, I knew there was no way out. So focused on hearing my name Dr. P being announced at graduation.

1-M: [00:18:54] You know being called Dr. P at school and things like that. So I focused on what I wanted not what was frustrating me.

Researcher: [00:19:05] Absolutely. How do you feel that those experiences impacted your future experience? You know anything that you know after your program or in how your approach situations now.

1-M: [00:19:18] OK. So you kind of went out a little bit you said, you’re fine…

Researcher: [00:19:28] I had to walk around for a minute. I got kicked out. When you know these experiences and everything. How do you think your strategies to stay optimist influenced any future experiences that you’ve had or the way that you approach them?

1-M: [00:19:48] I think you have to stay positive and you have to just say you just have to suck it up and do what is asked of you at this point.

1-M: Being a teacher I asked my children to do things that they may not like. And in that role I was a student and I was I believe in following roles I believe in following directions whether I like them or not. I mean I have to roll and take some deep breaths and do those kinds of things but I think just doing what was asked and not wasting the time by arguing was so much more productive and it helped me to realize you know I’m not going to argue over the silly little things and I think in I’ve done better with that in my professional life too so just you know this is not my decision I can’t fix it. So here it is. I’m just going with is not worth fussing and fighting over you know a lot of different things. If you can debate it that’s one thing but to just argue and go Well that’s not right. That’s not I cannot stand that, That’s not fair. Life is not fair. Please tell me, you know. So, I do think it was good practice in many aspects of being a teacher, being a student, being you know really being a teacher because you get told a lot of things that just don’t make sense. You know it’s just it’s just how it is.

Researcher: [00:21:31] How would you describe your overall attitude toward approaching difficult situations during your program.

1-M: [00:21:40] Again it was I just had to breathe. There were things I didn’t like and if it was a class I’m going look there are only eight more weeks you know or certain I think that timeframe was really good for me. It’s eight weeks and BOOM. Not having a day off in between you know you can make it work for a day off. But there were just no breaks. And that’s I think that was helpful.

1-M: [00:22:04] You just have to focus on the prize at the end and just yes ma’am no ma’am. I’m from the south. You know it’s Yes. Just going to be a yes person because you know not being run over. I mean there’s a definite limit to that.

1-M: But I think just simply Ok deep breathing and that rep always says we’re smiling.  Are Smiling because half the time when you just smile it does change your attitude and you can just you know keep it going.

Researcher: [00:22:39] Great. How do you feel about your level of optimism impacted your journey and your overall success?

1-M: [00:22:51] I think it’s huge because you know I hear people say oh my gosh you’ve got so much going on and you’ve got this you’ve got that. It’s like it’s what you make it. You know and the whole program was what you make it.

1-M: Yes. I did not like that I had to go through such difficulties with the first methodologist and go through the steps and it held me back. But I’m like you know in the long run maybe I learned a little something else about I learned to be more resilient because no you’re not going to stop me I’m going to finish my doctoral I’ve come too far.

1-M: So I think that positive attitude definitely has grown. There are moments of course that I’m like you know things happen things happen you know.

1-M: But I want to set a good example for like I said not only my girls but my friends I mean people say I cannot believe you did all of that with everything going on in your life at that time.

1-M: Like I said they didn’t know they said we had no clue that you were working on your doctorate. I think sometimes just I don’t know and separating yourself from this I’m at school I need to teach my children here today. When I go home take a nap drink a big cup of coffee and work until 2:00 or three o’clock in the morning you know. It definitely made a difference because people did not know I was working on it.

1-M: [00:24:21] Most people didn’t know.

Researcher: [00:24:24] Great. OK. And what types of coping methods would you use when you were presented with difficulty and how do you feel you were able to cope with things that didn’t always go as planned.

1-M: [00:24:36] Most of the time it was a lot of my own.

1-M:: [00:24:44] It was a lot of deep breathing. A lot of times I would have to just go for a walk. I did do especially during the program except for at the very end last year and then I need to get back into the habit. I would get up every morning by 5:30 get to the gym for a little while. That helped to relieve stress.

1-M: The other thing on really bad times and it was only a few My family golfs, and I would go with them to the driving range. I’ve pictured some faces on the golf balls as I hit them. But sometimes I didn’t. But most of the time it was just I needed to just really de-stress and it really did help a lot. Breathing, exercise, golfing on the driving range on occasion on occasion it.

Researcher: 00:25:49] Sounds like fun.

1-M: [00:25:50] Yes it really was very helpful. I have to say that was probably the most therapeutic in a lot of ways.

Researcher: [00:25:59] Why do you think that was therapeutic for you.

1-M: [00:26:03] You know when you get really I’m just going to say the golf part. My idea of golf my golfing to me is not fun. I enjoy being out there with my family. But chasing a little white ball around with a couple of sticks. That’s how I think about I’m a little too logical, but I see the beauty in it and I see that other people enjoy it. I would just prefer to watch it and be around my family. But you know you just when you get so frustrated, you’re working so hard and you feel like every time you climb up a couple of steps people are kicking knocking you back down. You know some people are a little bit more hurtful with it than others and this is just what you need to do. You just want to hit something and it’s not appropriate to hit other people. So hitting the golf ball was definitely.

1-M: Sometimes you know you feel like you could just run away from the situation and getting on the elliptical or the treadmill or the track. Sometimes I would run and do it and sometimes I would just you know just work it out you just need to work out that anxiety that frustration in a physical way. I don’t think for me. For me ironically I did not drink during my program I really am not a drinker. I think people would have thought that I would been needing to drink all the time I didn’t.

1-M: I did stress release with the exercise or just stepping away and doing something. Usually it was exercise and breathing and occasionally the driving range for golf.

Researcher: [00:27:41] OK. And then what personal characteristics you feel impacted your ability to complete your program.

1-M: [00:27:50] I’m hardheaded and I admit it I’m extremely hardheaded. I’m kind of one of those. You tell me I can’t do it. Let me show you. You know now I’m not going to go crazy things. But there were a few situations moments where it was this. This study is not adequate You should have done this instead. No. I’ve cleared everybody else. I think you’re misunderstanding what we’re trying to do. You know I’m one of those. No. I’m going to finish this if I start it. I’m going to finish it and mentally. But four years and three months which they said is faster than average I think they said about four and a half to five years maybe. But actually, a lot of people seem to be taking a little bit longer but I’m too hardheaded to stop.

Researcher: No, I’m going to keep on going. I wanted to take days off I wanted to take time off. But I never took a break. I just kept going because I’m hard at it. I know I’m going to keep going.

1-M: [00:29:01] Push through push through some being hardheaded than it is definitely it can be beneficial and can be exhausting at times. For this situation, It was a little bit competitive. And with R and I admitted we were competing with each other and he was like you like a couple of months behind me and was like boom you just passed me I said well the state got flooded you know we flooded almost two years ago here in South Carolina. And I said I was at home for over 10 days. No way to get out. I did interviews and transcriptions. I was done with my study in less than two weeks which is amazing because that’s all I had to do. I could focus on that. So being competitive and wanting to get things done before somebody else is beneficial.

Researcher: [00:29:53] Okay, you mentioned exercise. What types of physical activities did you participate in and how often would you do these things?

1-M: [00:30:04] Most mornings, I’m not much of a runner. Only run if something’s chasing me but sometimes I would.

1-M: I did a lot of walking. A lot of elliptical time. I did because I am ADHD. This is pitiful. I would have the TV screen on and watching something I would have the iPad. And because you can read the closed captioning on the TV and I was working out and I was watching people. So it worked out really well being on a machine. More so than the track the track got a little monotonous to me and the elliptical and walking on the treadmill sometimes biking it just depended on how I would feel. And on average especially during the weekdays I didn’t do as much at the gym. I might have gone for a walk or walk around the golf course with my family. But I’d say four or five days out of the week depending on the case load and everything else.

1-M: But it was such a good stress reliever.

Like I said I need to get back into that. And I got a little spoiled but that was that was very helpful to me. 30 minutes sometimes it would be an hour just depending on how well I slept and how late I stayed up working on papers or you know different things.

Researcher: [00:31:29] And how much time each week which you take for yourself during your program.

1-M: [00:31:35] Whenever I was working on my National Board Certification almost 10 years ago, I got really that they told us it would take 200 hours to complete the National board process roughly.

1-M: [00:31:49] They said What are you willing to give up to get that time because you can’t add time to the day and I thought, television I don’t need it. So I’ve really got over certain shows I didn’t I mean I liked the TV on for noise. But I don’t sit down and actually watch but maybe one or two shows. So I learned very quickly to manage my time, focus on what I needed. So I would say whenever I consider me time it was the Gym time.

1-M: So 30 minutes to an hour in the mornings, church was also Me time that was every Sunday. You know it was very rare for us to miss because that was our family time dinner time. We did unfortunately get interrupted a lot of times it would be a phone call or a conference or something hit me and I had to get it out. There were plenty of times my family would just bring supper in the office and I would eat and work and type and just keep going.

1-M: [00:32:56] So for me time was limited. But when it was me time or family time I would definitely work really hard to just shut off the phone or not do anything so I’m going to say we’ll say maybe seven eight hours a week roughly if that includes church work out family dinners things like that that some weeks were better than others and some were not. So like I said when I went on vacations with friends it was take a laptop with me. You know I think that’s just expected you know. So not as much. And I think whenever I would get down a little bit I would realize I needed some family time because you do have to step away from typing a little bit go empty the dishwasher and think through that.

1-M: That is one thing that is something I’ve really learned about myself I have to step away. Just do something else that’s just mindless and think through what I want to do or how I need to write this or you, the questions for my study are just different things. The step away really was helpful I should have done it more. That is one thing I recommend to people but you have to be so careful and know what your limitations are what is going to become more of a distraction rather than to help you and I know if I step way too much I get distracted and just don’t want to step back into it. So you have to know yourself and realize that personal timewise.

Researcher: [00:34:40] How did you recognize each success that you achieved throughout your program.

1-M: [00:34:45] Ha, ha, ha. I shared with my family I would go yes I cleared this. Yes. I you know I finished this class. You know sometimes I would send a group e-mail and the e-mails within the cohort would kind of that my whole group would they kind of tapered off. It was a kind of got to the point where it was just me and Rich and we would text each other score You know we did this you know and they would definitely share that with each other. A lot of it was not necessarily going out getting a break. It was just simply Yes you know check out off kind of things and just acknowledging it as a family was huge to me. And seeing the relief on family’s face was huge because like yes she’s almost with us again. You know she’s almost we’re almost have her back. You know. So just simply Yeah there were some excitement. I remember one time I got a notice on I’d cleared something from Dr. A and I think chapter two and I was on the golf course and they still they’re like here’s your favorite hole. That’s when you got the message that DR. A cleared you. And that’s what I kicked off my shoes and I was jumping around on the tee box. So they laughed about that. But you know just simply Yes OK now just keep going. You can’t last too long you’ve got to keep going. But you do kind of smile and check it off your mental list. To go, I survived that one. Yes. You know having this checklist I like my checklist Yes I’ve cleared that. Move on you know.

Researcher: [00:36:28] Absolutely. How would you describe the level of control that you’ve had over your dissertation journey?

1-M: [00:36:37] I had control over my reactions. I felt that you know it was one of those things of. Yes ma’am. Yes sir. I will do that because they knew what was needed to make it quality work and what my definition of quality work was not necessarily the doctoral level and I think I learned through the process of just because that’s what I think. I’m not a doctor at that point I needed to listen to their expertise. It was hard at many times to go OK this is what I’m saying here. Sometimes it was miscommunication. This doesn’t sound like this. Well I wrote it not in the clearest form. So yeah it I don’t feel like I have as much control over, I did.

1-M: I guess I had more control in the fact that I just said OK yes because yeah they described it as we’re driving the bus, but you got all these people on the back of the bus that want to do these different things. And then I really described it so I can figure out how to describe it to people. You’re decorating a house and you’ve got three other people. One is modern and one’s This and one is traditional, and you have to mesh it all together and sometimes you kind of have to have to step up and go OK you want this and you want this. And I need for you two to talk. And I did. I would say I need for you two to talk. Figure out what you need. Let me know and I will do that one thing.

1-M: [00:38:17] And there were times that I have to say that I had to kind of be a little bit more you a little bit more backbones and things and I was nice that I just said I need for you to decide what to do with this you know.

1-M: So not much control other than how I responded to it you know.

Researcher: [00:38:38] Why do you feel that was important. The way that you responded.

1-M: [00:38:41] Because it is what it is. And they had my I say it’s gonna sound mean, they had my future in their hands, and I didn’t want to upset them, but I needed to know and I reminded myself they know what they’re talking about. They’re not trying to be hurtful. You know sometimes I describe it as the worst form of hazing ever. But their names are on this too. And I realized that they were protecting their quality of work and their reputations and as well as the university’s you know they have been going back. One of the big key phrases we have a lot of stakeholders involved in this. And so they were serving to protect I was learning and I was also learning to protect as well.

1-M: Like I said decorating a house with a lot of different styles a lot of different beliefs. But the overall goal for everybody was get some quality research. Quality study, quality writing everything. Needed to mesh well to make everybody happy.     

Researcher: [00:39:56] And then during your doctoral program can you describe your feelings about your ability to complete your program.

1-M: [00:40:06] I would say for the most part I’m going to say 95 percent of the time I knew I would finish. I knew I had that. What you focus on you get more of. That’s one of my kind just one things that you know they use if you focus on. I’m going to finish.

1-M: You mentally set yourself up to be that more that positive mental attitude you know.

1-M: But if you’re going I guess I’m going to do this you’re never going to you know accomplish that so focus on getting it done and you focus on what you want. You just have you have to focus on. I never believed I didn’t. There were mom., well I take it back, there were just a few of those break down moments that I was I just don’t know if I can do this but wanting it and being hardheaded and focusing on when I finish I never did say if I finish what I said when I finish. So focused on that and acknowledging that I was hardheaded and I just don’t give up.

Researcher: [00:41:14] Great how would you describe your level of spirituality during your program.

1-M: [00:41:22] Extremely high. I love the fact that at GCU at the first residency I really felt of a lot. Then there were you know a little um during the residency there were little slide shows and there were always Scripture’s up there and I’m like Yes.

1-M: I mean like I said some of my personal time was church to go on Sundays and just get fed you know and I would a lot of times I say God tell me what you know I need to hear right now. And so many times whether it was a paper that I was writing for that week especially during servant leadership. I mean that was you know Major time I definitely didn’t want to miss church in that time because there were so many things that the preacher would say and there were plenty of times during my papers that I would you know use verses from the Bible and things like that

1-M: I cannot imagine not getting through this program or well this especially this program without having my faith and you know the support from other fellow believers and those with strong faith because so many times and that’s when I would get from friends.

1-M: I’m praying for you I know it’s a hard time for you right now. Constantly. As I talk about my wall there were several scriptures that I know I would write, and I would have that there. And it really helped me a lot. And sometimes I would just sit there, and I would open up the Bible and I would just open it up and I would go OK read. And it was perfect for me.

1-M: [00:43:03] So yeah I couldn’t have done it without my faith.

1-M: And many, many prayers that I said, and others said for me and I would just say that please pray for me right now and be put on Facebook or something you know everything’s fine it just need some extra prayers because nobody knew like I said most people did not know. So those that did would definitely pray my Sunday School class knew and so I knew I had tons of prayers there. But yeah just saying please pray for me OK. Yes, I am always helped. So definitely a major factor in my success and completion.

Researcher: [00:43:46] What would you say was the most impactful thing that got you through your program if you had to pick one thing that really just impacted you the most. What would that be?

1-M: [00:43:57] Oh my word on. Gosh. That’s a good question. The most impactful thing. I’m gonna have to give, I’ll go professionally instead of so much personally because my family has been such huge support. I want to go with it a tie between Dr. E the chairperson and R my peer that worked with me a lot. They, just so you can do it kind of things those wow you did that. I can’t get one particular time I’m sitting here going, there should have been. I will say that the study was pretty amazing.

1-M: [00:45:04] It was definitely the most fun because I finally I’m getting to do that so gosh that is a that’s a difficult one. I really the study was definitely the best. Because I was hearing new things I was focusing on those So that’s an action that was fun or the best part.

1-M: [00:45:31] Just a combination of the times and the support and the discussions with Dr. E and Rich and what was cool is R had Dr. E as his chairperson too. So, there were several times that we would do Zoom conferences together and we would just rattle things off and just you know really just discuss a lot of cool stuff and get it out. No that’s not what I think. And a lot of times, I don’t know, that was just a huge part of it too. Some I’m going to split between the study and that and the professional part of that.

Researcher: [00:46:02] Great I know that was a hard question.

1-M: [00:46:04] I know man that was deep, I couldn’t even think on that one. You know it was great.

Researcher: [00:46:09] It’s my bonus question. Great. And that was actually it from my questions. But did you have any other comments you wanted to make or any questions you have.

1-M: [00:46:18] I will say you know as things are hitting me Dr. C was huge, if there was a glitch. It could possibly happen it tended to happen to me. And that’s what R was like. You are so just resilient in all this and I told him about your study, and I said I was so excited. It was kind of therapeutic to get to answer her questions you know I had and AQR assessor went back and did all that stuff. I didn’t hear back from her long story short she had left, and nobody picked me up. Yeah. So, Dr. C picked me up, so Dr. C, do you know her?

Researcher: [00:46:53] Oh yeah.

1-M [00:46:55] I wasn’t sure who all knows who. Dr. C picked me up, and don’t tell her this but she was the reason I was in the fetal position crying for an hour because there were like 200 comments that I’m going oh my God you know I just I cannot survive this. So I was like I’m not doing to make it through her because she is like the Dr M of AQR \you know not going to make it all so I worked really hard. I just push through and push through.

1-M And ironically, I don’t know if she picked up on I’m about to freak out and quit or what. You know that. Oh that stress level. But she ended up she’s like Do you know how to do this and this. No I don’t I don’t do formatting. You know I was going to pay an editor maybe she shouldn’t have done this but she helped me a lot. She fixed a lot of things for me. I think she heard the stress and like she did not have to do that you know. So she took that that difficult situation and really helped me out a lot. So there’s things like that that I don’t think would happen anywhere else but GCU probably.

1-M [00:48:10] So like I said I just thought I needed to share that about Dr. C too because there were some amazing people but there are some names that really just of especially at the end when you’re just running on fumes that that really sticks out. I do recommend it. Actually, when I was in the start of the program and a friend of mine is in the dissertation stage so I’ve recommended to a couple of friends and one friends started on her Masters two weeks ago at GCU. So, I definitely suggested I have one friend who might be coming to GCU to do the online doctoral program. I had frustrating times not gonna lie to you but I say that most people worked hard To help me get over those humps you know and realize hey it’s not her fault that AQR person left and we left her hanging for a little bit. So I think that’s why Dr. C thought you know that’s not her fault. Let’s help her. Didn’t do the work for me but it helped me through a lot of things so I think that’s definitely something that’s great about the GCU program or just GCU in general.

Researcher: [00:49:20] I agree.

1-M: [00:49:22] I just I kind of got a little spoiled. I realized you know I was very fortunate. So anything else that I can help be with?

Researcher: [00:49:32] No, that was great. Thank you very much. Got lots of Good information. So like I said I definitely will be sharing information once my study is completed, and it will be published in ProQuest. So that’s exciting.

1-M: [00:49:46] So what if you need anything else at all or you just want to scream because that’s how it goes. That’s right. Look I understand sometimes you just want to go to Am I going to…yes, you’re going to survive it. Somebody asked, did you cry Thursday or Friday. I forget which day. I don’t even know where I am right now. But you know but did you cry Friday, and I was like. No amazingly I didn’t. Because I am an emotional person, but I was like I didn’t cry, I think I was in shock. I really do. I think I was truly in shock that I finally made it to graduation you know, and it was really cool. It was a good experience. I was very impressed with how well organized it was like boom turn here. I was like. Wow. It was really cool. And I’m sure you are looking forward to actually participating Yeah it was definitely a wonderful experience.

1-M: [00:50:44] Great. Yeah it really was. Well it was good to meet you too. So you know I was like oh my gosh that’s M, so that was great.

Researcher: [00:50:53] OK well great. Well thank you so much. And as you know likewise if you have any questions or concerns anything like that just reach out let me know. Phone e-mail, OK.