A Respectable Woman Essay

A Respectable Woman Essay.

In A Respectable Woman Mrs Baroda follows the same course as Mildred in the beginning her interest in a man by feeling “piqued” at his lack of interest in her. The simple fact of the physical presence of the man is again what awakens the woman’s sexual interest as Gouvernail’s silences and indifference seem hardly designed to attract her. Again like Mildred Mrs Baroda is confused by the difference beetweeen the social role she expects her guers to play and Gouvernail’s actuality.

Gouvernail does not register either Mrs Baroda’s indifference or her imposition of her presence upon him (other expression: G. does not respond to … to do smth.) Without takinf any action or even engaging in the social niceties, both men are the unwitting instigators of dramatic developments in the self-knowledge of others; they are catalytic to momentous change in the lives of the women they encounter.

Mrs Baroda becomes helpless in the face of her own physical desire; she resorts to flight and refuses to have any contact with G for more than a year.

When in proximity to him she shas been consumed by the conflict arising from her struggle to keep hold on her identit as a “respectable woman” whilst attempting to control her newly awakened !physical being!. An ending to the story which would restore Mrs Baroda to her place as the embodiment of the title “A R W” is offered to the reader when the invitation to G is once again extended: “Ihave overcome everything” You will see. This time I shall be very nice to him”. What her husband taes as the overcoming of her dislike could also, of course, be the overcoming of her passion or, alternatively, the overcoming of the scruples which prevented her from pursuinf the attraction. The two latter interpretations hang suspended as possibilities above the story.

However, whatever the reading of these lines , the fact remains that the intimacy of this married couple – evidenced by their informal sharing of the dressing-room, their liking for each other’s company, their “long, tender kiss! – has been and amy again be threatened. There is no certainty, no stabiklity, no emblem of a highly ordered society such as marriaag,e which is not susceptible to disruption by thedemands of physical desire.

The story allows us to lift Mrs Baroda out of her closed reading as “A R W” ans to place her in an umber of alternative situations; the possibility exists for her to continuer as that woman or to use her reputation to conceal a quite different existence .We do not know what will happen but our reading of Mrs Baroda cane never be quite the same again because doubt has been planted by the ambiguous ending of the story and, having already witnessed both the power of feelings that shake her and her resolution to controla them, we are forces back into the body of the story in order to suspend judgement.

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A Respectable Woman Essay

The Unlikely Tragic Hero Essay

The Unlikely Tragic Hero Essay.

In his essay on tragedy, Arthur Miller once wrote “the tragic feeling is evoked in us when we are in the presence of a character who is ready to lay down his life, if need be, to secure one thing–his sense of personal dignity.” This insightful view of the common man’s ability to be a tragic hero is emblematic of the female protagonist, Mrs. Alving, in Henrik Ibsen’s controversial drama Ghosts. In her fight to pull her family together and become the archetypal wife Mrs.

Alving learns of life’s tragedies- she loses everything she loves and all she has built in the name of dignity.

Regardless of the deleterious internal effects on her psyche, Mrs. Alving protects and uphold her values. She respects marriage; she knew her husband was unfaithful, yet Mrs. Alving did not end the relationship as she wanted to uphold her matrimonial vows. She recalls “soon after, I heard Alving come in too. I heard him say something softly to her.

And then I heard – oh! it still sounds in my ears, so hateful and yet so ludicrous – I heard my own servant-maid whisper, ‘Let me go, Mr. Alving! Let me be!’” (1.405). Though she fights to understand the truth, she has nobly held her tongue to save her boy and let her husband die honorably.

Although she believes it is a bad idea to leave the newly built orphanage uninsured, she protects Manders from public indignation by complying with his anti insurance idea; this becomes a regrettable decision when the orphanage burns down. She still respects Manders’ ability to function under the laws of society, but when he makes note of the ignominious progressive books she has been reading Mrs. Alving becomes defensive. She explains, “here, in my loneliness, I have come to the same way of thinking, Pastor Manders. But I have never dared to say anything” (1.351). While she has a strong belief in progressive ideas, Mrs. Alving would never shame her family by outwardly expressing them.

Mrs. Alving respects her family enough to realize they will be hurt if she does not hold everything together. She imparts only fond memories of Mr. Alving to her son Oswald and reminds him of the familial ties which they must live by. As Oswald refers to his father saying, “and yet he managed to do so much in the world; so much that was good and useful; although he died so early” the reader realizes how delusional his vision of his father is (1.295).

Deeply obliged to both her son and her late husband, Mrs. Alving fights to cover up the truth of her marriage and provide the best for her son, striving to protect his innocence and morality. She believes she can save her son from anything, though as her marital situation worsened she could not bear the thought of keeping her son in such an environment, she explains “I had to bear it for my little boy’s sake. But when the last insult was added; when my own servant-maid; then I swore to myself: This shall come to an end!” (1.411). She did not want him to suffer from the actions of his father, thus she sends him abroad.

Continually fighting to protect those around her, Mrs. Alving only hurts herself in the process. She invites Captain Alving’s lovechild, Regina, to live and work in their home to ensure she receives a fair education. It is only later that she becomes aware of her son and Regina’s relations- an incestual relationship made possible by Mrs. Alving’s kindness to the young Regina by letting her live in their home. In behaving under the societal guidelines and ignoring her husband’s despicable actions, Mrs. Alving only pushed him further away. The absence of a faithful husband created a perpetual loneliness in Mrs. Alving and though she found peace of mind in sending her son Oswald abroad, his absence devastated her and their relationship would never be repaired.

Plagued by the internal guilt of her husband’s unfaithfulness, Mrs. Alving concludes that their environment pushed her to become the societal façade of a wife. By viewing life through society’s vantage point, Mrs Alving became a dutiful wife, who unfortunately fell into the mechanic motions of a wife’s day-to-day duties. Upon realizing her fault, she apologizes to her son saying, “they had taught me a great deal about duties and so forth, which I went on obstinately believing in.

Everything was marked out into duties – into my duties, and his duties, and – I am afraid I made his home intolerable for your poor father, Oswald”(3.122). Mrs. Alving sees how she added to her husband’s unhappiness and thus tries to make up for his wrongdoings. She dedicates the orphanage to him, even though he was unfaithful to her. She believes in showing respect, and making sure her husband is remembered in the light which others knew him. She believes she will have fixed everything once she rids herself and her family of the true memories of her husband.

The morality of society’s ability to coerce the family unit to function under traditionally acceptable conditions has been questioned throughout history. Henrik Ibsen enables his readers to become aware of the horrible truths that lie behind closed doors in his contentious 1881 Norwegian drama, Ghosts. Mrs. Alving suffers from the conflict between the external pressures of society battling what she believes is moral. Her societal training has taught her how to gracefully handle any situation- sweep your troubles under the rug and wait for them to creep out when you are most vulnerable.

The tragic events she faces throughout this play result in the domino effect which stems from the intricate web of society-pleasing lies she has spun since marrying Captain Alving. Eventually Mrs. Alving comes to the understanding that societal dignity is not a panacea; one’s ability to complete the tasks of a dutiful wife will not save a marriage, will not show a child love, nor will it create a fairytale ending. Mrs. Alving does not live happily ever after, rather she is left isolated. She will continue on in her dignified lonesome state of living.

The Unlikely Tragic Hero Essay

Advantages of Arranged Marriages Essay

Advantages of Arranged Marriages Essay.

Marriage is a union or an institution in which two individuals are bound together legally, religiously or otherwise. It occurs as a result of several motives such as emotional, physical, legal, religious, financial, etc. Marriage is not always between two individuals of opposite genders and not everyone involved goes into it of their own free will. In ancient history, women barely had rights of their own and were considered properties of their families and properties of their husbands after marriage.

This belief went on for centuries until the 19th and 20th centuries when people in Europe, America and a couple other continents began to make several legal changes to improve the rights of women.

For these reasons and many more, marriage has become one the most debated issues in societies today. It is said to be one of the subjects that brings about chaos and confusion in families and societies and that its disadvantages vary on the type of marriage in question.

Arranged marriages are one of the many types of marriages people are most skeptical about. Some people even feel that it causes more havoc in families than any other type of marriage. Arranged marriages are mostly practiced by royal families all around the world and in most cases, it is considered not as a union between a man and a woman as husband and wife but as a partnership or an alliance formed between two families.

Although arranged marriages may not be completely beneficial to the couples in some cases, it tends to have more advantages than disadvantages in the society today because it reduces the rate of divorce in societies, it guarantees a wider range of happiness in families and it is a secure form of marriage (country reports on human rights practices 2008). To begin with, there are fewer cases of divorce in arranged marriages today and this is as a result of a few precautions taken before a marriage is actually arranged.

Firstly, marriages are usually arranged either by the parents of the individuals, a close family member or a matchmaking agency. They (especially the parents) all ensure that the couples that are paired together are compatible in every way (Mayzin 2013). Thorough background checks such as religious, social, financial, cultural and even medical checks are carried out on both individuals. Secondly, divorce is not tolerated in most, if not all, of the societies where arranged marriage is practiced (Zuberi 2013).

To elaborate further, arranged marriages are common in countries like India, Nepal, Pakistan, Bangladesh and Sri Lanka and there is very little tolerance for divorce in these countries. Lastly, most arranged couples try to resolve their problems amicably to avoid embarrassment from their parents. As stated earlier, when a marriage is arranged, the union is not only between the couple but also between the two families so when couples in arranged marriages have misunderstandings, they try their best to resolve them as quickly as possible in order to prevent their parents from finding out about it and interfering in their private lives.

Due to this, the couples end up saving their marriages unconsciously by making sure none of their misunderstanding lasts longer than is necessary. In addition, arranged marriages tend to guarantee a wider range of happiness to the couples involved. To start with, although some of them get off to wrong starts and the first few years do not appear to be as blissful as expected, the couples learn to coexist with each other sooner or later.

When they realise that hating and loathing each other is nothing more than a waste of valuable time they should spend to get to learn more about their spouse, they tend to loosen up and, with equal effort from both sides, learn to care for each other. In most cases, the initial feeling of hate eventually turns to love (Lee 2013). Also, the couples in arranged marriages have a lot of similar interests. Most couples in love marriages tend to engage in oral brawls when it comes to family matters and decision making in general because of lack of common interests on certain issues.

Like cases as these are rare in arranged marriages due to the critical scrutiny conducted by the parents and family members of the couples before they are labelled as a perfect match. Finally, most love marriages occur as a result of spontaneous decisions made due to irrational thinking. Take for instance, the movie, “A few best men”. A man and a woman went to an island for a short vacation and while they were there, they met and fell in love instantly. Or so they thought.

They spent their time getting to know each other and after ten days, the duration of the vacation, they felt they knew all there was to know about each other so they decided to get married. They had a great honeymoon and promised to be with each other forever. After a few months, they began to have several arguments due to their many dissimilar preferences and countless clashes of interest. Then reality struck; their blissful marriage was over and they had gotten to the stage where they both felt miserable and couldn’t stand each other.

A couple more months and they were divorced and had gone their separate ways. Moreover, arranged marriages can be considered as safe marriages because of the following reasons. First of all, there are no social inferiorities between the couples in arranged marriages due to the many similarities in their backgrounds. For instance, if an arranged couple attends a social event together, neither of them would feel out of place because they both have similar upbringing and have both had comparable social experiences.

Also, couples have low expectations in arranged marriages because they barely get to know much about their spouses before they get married. They just trust that their families have made the right choices for them so they go along with it and hope for the best to come out of the situation. Due to this, the couples have low expectations of their spouses and sometimes their partners turn out to be amazing; this strengthens the foundation of the marriage. In situations where this is not the case, the little expectations minimizes the level of disappointment.

Finally, there are rarely cases of domestic violence in arranged marriages. Just as stated earlier, before a marriage is arranged, thorough background checks are conducted on the potential partners and if as much as a hint of violence is spotted in the background of either of them, the person is not likely to be chosen as a spouse. Furthermore, opponents argue that arranged marriages could also be considered as forced marriages. In some cases, this argument could be legitimate because some couples are forced into marriage for family and societal benefits.

For example, some parents force their children, especially the female children, to get married to people from wealthy families with high social standards because of some financial difficulties their families might be facing at the moment or plainly because of a craving for family name and social recognition. In other words, this argument could also be irrelevant and inauthentic for the following reasons. Firstly, arranged marriages these days are optional and are only carried out with the children’s consent (Should arranged marriages be outlawed? 2013).

Before a marriage is arranged, the potential couples are brought together, introduced and are given unlimited time to get to know each other. After this phase is completed, the individuals are left to decide whether or not they want to spend the rest of their lives with the person in question. If after this, neither of them is interested in the other, the topic is dropped and a new search for another suitable partner begins. Lastly, forced marriages are obsolete and are against the law (Travis 2000). A law has been enforced that parents forcing marriages on their children is against the law and could be charged with a criminal offence.

With this law enforcement on their necks, parents would not dare to marry their children off against their will. In conclusion, arranged marriages have been said to solve several problems such as incompatibility in couples, difficulty in finding a spouse, inferiority complex, etc. Although arranged marriages may not be completely beneficial to the couples in some cases, it tends to have more advantages than disadvantages in the society today because it reduces the rate of divorce in societies, it brings about peace and harmony in families and it is a secure form of marriage.

Advantages of Arranged Marriages Essay

Moot Court Essay

Moot Court Essay.

Jitender Sharma was a young boy of 18 years of age. He fell in love with Poonam Sharma who was a girl of 16 years of age. One day they eloped from their respective homes and finally got married as per Hindu rites and ceremonies. Poonam’s family members were against this marriage. Even her Grand Father and Paternal uncle were not ready to accept this marriage at any cost. They threatened Poonam of her life and safety. Thereafter Poonam’s father lodge First Information Report (FIR) against Jitender at Gandhi Nagar Police Station, Delhi under section 363 and section 376 of Indian Penal Code.

On 05.05.2010, a typed letter signed by Poonam was received at the Gandhi Nagar Police Station stating that ‘she had married Jitender with her own will and requested not to file any criminal case against Jitender’.

Thereafter on 07.05.2010 Jitender and Poonam were apprehended from Bilaspur in Utter Pradesh and produced before respective court. Poonam refuse to undergo any medical examination. She did not state any thing against Jitender in her statement before the Magistrate under section 164 of Code of Criminal Procedure, 1973.

Thereafter Jitender was sent to Juvenile Home. Subsequently, Poonam gave in writing that she had left her parents home by her own will and went along with Jitender. The court sent Poonam to Nari Niketan for some time. Then on 17.05.2010, Poonam’s custody was handed over to her Parents. Thereafter, on 15.06.2010 Jitendre was released.

Subsequently, he demanded cudtody of her wife by filing writ petition in Delhi High Court. Now argue for the both side and also the law and procedure in the aforesaid matter. Some the issues are listed below and are not limited to the below mentioned issues. These issues are as follows: 1) Whether Jitender is lible for the kidnapping of Poonam from her legal guardian? 2) Whether the marriage is voidable under the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955? 3) Whether the Jitender is liable under section 376 of I.P.C, 1960? 4) Whether Poonam must be sent with Jitender under Guardian and Wards Act, 1890?

Moot Court Essay

Kate Keller’s Character Analysis Essay

Kate Keller’s Character Analysis Essay.

Kate Keller plays the role of an obsessive mother and a typical wife in the play “All My Sons” It his her motherliness that defines her character the most, as the fist few stage directions refer to “mother” as, ‘Mother […] is in her early fifties, a woman of uncontrolled inspirations, and an overwhelming capacity for love.’ This “overwhelming capacity of love” is mostly seen for her son Larry who seems to be dead, but Kate is just not ready to accept reality and move on.

Even before mother’s entry in the play, the readers find out a few details about her through the stage directions and even the dialogues of the other characters, such as the dialogue between Chris and Joe where Chris threatens to abandon home and their business if Joe somehow does not convince Kate for Chris’s wedding with Ann.

Kate’s obsession with her son Larry, who never returned from war goes to such an extent that she has dreams about him, leading her to cry every night.

She is just not ready to accept her son’s death and for the first time her “controlling” nature is seen as she tries to manipulatively tries to create distance between her older son Chris and “Larry’s girl”, Ann; “I think her nose got longer” Her obsession goes as far as even symbolizing the apple tree’s fall as something dangerous, and something harmful coming towards Larry. The fall of the apple tree probably foreshadows the death of Larry, instigating his family to move on.

Another main characteristic that Kate posses is manipulativeness. She avoids every discussion that she realizes, goes towards the future of Chris and Ann. She either deviates the topic or just acts as though she has a headache. She manipulates her discussion with Chris in such a way where Chris finds it impossible to even mention their future together. Kate first talks about how proud she is that Ann has not move on and that she is still waiting for Larry to return, and then suddenly asks him if he is interested in Ann, and ofcourse by then Chris is in no state to hurt his mother further by admitting his love for Ann.

Apart from Larry, Kate is also the one holding the family together. She is the central character of the play who knows the ‘big’ secret, and is making sure that her husband is safe from any confrontations and any sort of trouble. Another reason for holding onto Larry and believing that he is still alive is the fact that if Larry was actually dead, it would be nobody’s fault but Joe’s. She knows the crime that Joe had indulged in and she could not accept the fact that her son may have been killed by his own father, and her own loving husband. She is also the one who again manipulated facts and saved Joe from going to prison; instead framing Ann’s father and sending him to prison.

This secret is another thing that bothers her immensely. However the example of keeping the secret and saving her husband from going to prison shows her smartness and her desire for keeping the family together, as one. But at the same time it also gives the readers a further insight into her character, as the keeping of this secret also hints towards her weaknesses; her family. Her weakness takes her to the extent of dishonesty and guilt. As mentioned above, she depicts the character of a “typical” good wife, by saving her husband and trying to keep her family one through love.

Throughout the play as readers, we realize that there are dark secrets to be revealed and Kate is somehow a central part of it. She plays a significant role in saving her family, but at the same time she is also seen as one of the weaker characters from outside; considering her nightmares and her troubles dealing with the loss of Larry. Therefore it can be argues whether she forms the strongest character in the play, or the weakest.

Kate Keller’s Character Analysis Essay

A Couple Interview with Darlene and Mike Lumpkin Essay

A Couple Interview with Darlene and Mike Lumpkin Essay.

A marriage is the creation of a new family by bringing together two distinct people from individual and very distinctly different backgrounds. The bringing together of two different people often can cause conflict. Merging families can also create a harmonious relationship of balance and teamwork if both of their differences and similarities compliment each other. After conducting an interview with Darlene and Mike Lumpkin it became very evident that theirs was a seemingly balanced and harmonious relationship. The interview asked questions about how things like their backgrounds, challenges together, boundaries, family interactions, and spirituality have developed into a family and marriage relationship that successfully navigates through life together.

The couple walked into the interview with a very happy demeanor, which seemed to set the tone for the remainder of our conversation. Their happiness clearly showed by sitting very close to each other on the couch with their arms around each other. Mike shared jokingly that he felt like he was in a shrink’s office because of the blue couch.

His lightheartedness helped keep things comfortable. The interview began by asking them some detailed background information about their individual family upbringing and experiences. Out of respect to their time constraints they were each given a printed out copy of the interview schedule and asked to spend a few minutes answering the individual background questions. They then shared what they deemed relevant from their answers. After some discussion about background section, the interview progressed by going through each of the remaining questions. Mike Lumpkin is a 40-year-old male college graduate who is employed by a real estate company.

He has one younger brother and both parents are alive. His father is a pastor, which Mike shared, “my father has been a huge influence throughout marriage, family and in the way I live.” Mike described the majority of his family upbringing as stable, supportive and privileged. However, he wanted to highlight a particularly challenging time during college when he lost his best friend to suicide. He explained, “my faith got deeper through this experience because of all of the support of others.” The importance of faith is also reflective in his answers to questions about spending his free time with church and family. Darlene Lumpkin is a 43-year-old college graduate, housewife who has eight siblings. She started by highlighting the distinct differences between her and Mike’s family and upbringing.

Her father was divorced five times and was undiagnosed but had a history of Manic Depression. This obviously affected her saying: “That is the reason I got married at thirty-one.” Additionally she shared, “Girls like to marry someone like their father and I definitely did not.” She explained that all of her brothers had also been diagnosed or un-diagnosed with Manic Depression and or substance abuse issues. She expressed that although she is very close to her family that it is fractured. At twenty she lost her stepfather to a sudden, unexpected heart attack. During mid-twenties her fractured family influenced a bout with depression where she sought the help of a counselor. However, her answers on the sheet that she was given, indicated that her current outlook on life as very positive because of her relationship to Mike and their children. Mike and Darlene’s relationship started while working for the same company, the couple met at a training event. Sharing about how they met brought up a point of tension.

There was a hesitancy to share that Mike was living with another women when they first started dating. Darlene discovered this and there relationship was on and off. The tension in the room was awkward for a brief moment but did not last because Mike then expressed that although it started rough and that they came from very different backgrounds, they were supposed to be together. After two to three years, the couple was married. Two years later they had Grace, currently age nine, and then Seth age seven. There explanation of deciding when to have kids was, “We tried a dog, and it didn’t work so we thought we would try kids.” One key observation made surrounding this set of questions about their relationship was that although their backgrounds were different, their personalities really complimented each other to guide them through life’s challenges.

Although throughout the interview the couple seemed very happy talking about their marriage relationship, they did express some times in life, that in spite of being a challenge helped them grow closer. One such time occurred while working for the same company as store managers, their stores were down the street from each other causing them to be in direct competition. Additionally when Mike was laid off, Darlene found it difficult to interact with colleagues. Their families being brought together presented some of the greatest challenges, especially when they took in Darlene’s brother, who has battled an alcohol addiction. When an incidence occurred of him drinking at home while watching their children, they dealt with some confrontational stress. More recently another incidence happened when Darlene’s other brother attacked her personally. Mike and him got into some arguments but she chalked it up to his substance abuse and depression, saying, “All this drinking and addiction stuff has caused stress because Mike was not used to it.”

Considering how difficult some of the challenges were early on in their marriage, they did not seem to outweigh the strengths. Darlene said: “The biggest thing is Mike and I talk, weather it is comfortable or uncomfortable… you know the important things that need to be talked about.” Proper communication is vital to the success of a healthy long lasting marriage. Mike with Darlene agreed saying: “To sum it up we compliment each others’ strengths and weaknesses well.” Darlene wanted to also share that, “We both have a really good sense of humor, we can laugh at each other.” She shared that this was how they got through the difficult family situations. Their solid communication, humor, and complimenting personalities, were obvious strengths to their relationship. Frequently during the interview they both expressed that their children dictate much of how they are guided as a married couple and as a family.

Family became even more of a priority because Darlene quit her very successful upper-management job in order to spend more time with their children. Mike expressed the importance of this, “What it comes down to is her and I are responsible for this family we brought into this world.” The only negative aspect of their relationship, specifically as in relation to boundaries was that they both agreed that marital intimacy had suffered. According to them this was one area of their marriage that could use some growth. Although not always the case it is reported as being a common problem for married couples to have decreased intimacy as a result of children. They both agreed that a way to combat this was being more intentional about the time they did have as a couple such as dates and anniversaries.

Regardless of how much it was agreed that this was an area with a need for growth in their marriage, their boundaries seemed to be very healthy and clearly defined by their family as a whole. A reoccurring theme throughout the interview with Mike and Darlene was how much their spirituality influenced their marriage and family. Faith became particularly helpful during the difficulties with their families coming together. Mike: “I don’t know that we would have been as strong, I don’t know that we could have got through our situations without faith.” They have intentionally included their Christian faith throughout their relationship as a foundation for how their family operates and leans in times of life challenges. A lot of how their family is guided is by their faith and membership to a United Methodist Church.

Both shared that they enjoyed spending a great majority of their free time volunteering in church activities. Mike, “Faith for us has been huge.” When asked why they felt this was relevant, they expressed that their children are cared for, nurtured, and supported in this environment. Darlene, “Our kids love church, I feel like it has become a family or support for us, we get more back from it then we put in.”

They seemed to share about their relationship to their church as if it were an extended family that could be leaned on for support when needed but would allow for others to lean on them too if need be. Darlene and Mike are a truly amazing couple. A marriage that seems so balanced in spite of the many life challenges, and personality differences that they encounter. Although they would not admit so, their marriage is a perfect blend of two complimentary individuals. Having clearly defined family boundaries, complimenting each other’s strengths and weaknesses, while being guided by and supported in Christian faith, they continue to navigate through life together.

A Couple Interview with Darlene and Mike Lumpkin Essay

Why Marriages Fail Essay

Why Marriages Fail Essay.

“Happily ever after” and “Till death do us part”, expressions such as these are losing their meaning due to increasing divorce rates. Close to one-half of all marriages are destined for divorce, which is the cause of 42 percent of children growing up in single parent homes. In every failed marriage or relationship, there are common causes for its failure. These causes will include lack of change in intimacy, test of endurance, as well as outside pressures, which could have just as great or a greater impact on the relationship.

Due to the fact that one person within the couple will have stronger feelings than the other, it may lead to the need for too much intimacy; once a partner does this, the other pushes away and divorce soon follows. Miscommunication is amongst the most common issues in a relationship that leads to divorce or the end of a relationship. Infidelity is another symptom of trouble, which is often the most popular last straw that leads to the end of a relationship or divorce.

Roiohe asserts that many relationships suffer from others judgmental opinions which are another cause for strain. Concern and tension about money take each partner away from the other.

Obligations to demanding parents or still-depending parents or still-depended-upon parents create further strain. Couples today must also deal with all the cultural changes brought on in recent years by the women’s movement and the sexual revolution. The altering of roles and the shifting of responsibilities has been extremely trying for many marriages and relationships. ” (Roiphe pg. 552) Interracial relationships are continuously targeted by the public in a negative way.

For example my godmother began dating a white man, as early as the first month the received glares and facial expressions to display their disapproval. Actions such as these are common in relationships that are viewed as out of the norm such as same sex marriages and relationships. Same sex relationships have caused the most controversy over the past year or so with the legalization of its marriages. Overcome by the fear of losing our identities we tend to push away those who display too much affection.

To achieve a balance between separateness and closeness is one of the major psychological tasks of all human beings at every stage of life,” says Dr. Stuart Bartle, a psychiatrist at the New York University Medical Center. It has been proven that too much affection and intimacy causes the opposite of what is intended. In my own personal experiences, I have been a part of several relationships where the cause of its deterioration was overbearing love and affection. Without space and distance, there is no way possible one can understand the joy of missing a person.

In order to have a good relationship, in my opinion the couple must grow, while maintaining individuality. Understandably, this would come with complications. The trick is to maintain trust, in addition to, respect for one another’s personal growth. Infidelity has to be the most disgusting, despicable, unforgivable act that one in a relationship can do. “Dishonesty, hiding and cheating create walls between men and women. ” Being a product of such an act as well as experiencing this in my own relationship, I am and will forever be against it.

It is said that people make themselves believe that seeking another while still in a relationship will solve their problems. I believe that infidelity occurs because people, especially in today’s generation are unaware of the self-discipline it takes to develop and keep a strong relationship. There is a couple, friends of mine, whom started their relationship very young ; however, they understood the components needed to make it last. This couple is now in the beginning stages of marital bliss. “A man and a woman cannot follow every impulse, cannot allow themselves to stop growing or changing.

The sacrifices made on both parts are worthwhile compromises that will in turn repay with love and happiness. Many people, before they wed or delve into the bliss that is love, fall captive to this myth that once they have that everything will be perfect and they will become the center of their partner’s universe. This is soon proven to be false. Many problems reside in commitments, the most common being infidelity, miscommunication, and overbearing love. “Many marriages and relationships fall a part because either partner cannot imagine what the other wants or cannot communicate what he or she feels.

Anger builds until it erupts into a volcanic burst that buries the relationship in ash. ” The end of a relationship can be very beneficial, providing mutual happiness for both parties and a much needed burial for something that has clearly died. Surviving the challenges and obstacles within the relationship will make the bond between two people stronger, developing real love and intimacy. In order to survive in marriage or relationship flexibility, adaptability, genuine love and kindness and an imagination strong enough to feel what the other is feeling.

Why Marriages Fail Essay

Footnote to Youth Essay

Footnote to Youth Essay.


Dodong wanted to marry Teang and asked his father’s permission. Thinking that since they are young, their love would be short, he allowed them to get married. After nine months, Teang gave birth to a child named Blas. For six consecutive years, a new child came along. Teang did not complain even thought she secretly regretted being married at an early age. Sometimes she even wondered if she would have the same life if Lucio, her other suitor who was nine years older than Dodong, was the one she married.

Lucio has had no children since the time he married. When Teang and Dodong were twenty they looked like they were fifty. When Blas was 18, he told his father that he would marry Tona.

Dodong did not object, but tried to make Blas think twice before rushing to marriage – because Dodong doesn’t want Blas to end up like him. It simply tells the story of an older person who made a mistake in the past who ended up with a not so pleasurable life.

Then he had a son who is like him when he was young. His son is hasty in making the decision to get married, just like he was when he was 17. Despite this, Dodong did not – and could not – stop Blas from marrying Tona. Therefore, he didn’t object. Instead, he just reminded him that Blas is still very young and might as well think twice before rushing to marriage. But, as the ending goes: “Youth must triumph… now. Love must triumph… now. As long ago did youth and love triumphed for Dodong. And then… life.

B. Lessons I Learned:

1. It is always easy to get married but is never easy having a big responsibility. So, one must always think, not only twice but more times, to really understand what he/she will be encountering or simply, to think it over and consider the future before making up your mind. 2. Marriage is something that is taken seriously. Because marriage aside from being a sacrament is something that is full of responsibilities, when you decide to get married and you do marry someone, there is no turning back.

To the youth, there is lots of things that should be taken into consideration before marrying of course including their readiness to take the responsibilities of raising a family and being able to respond to their needs. Because marriage is not a move that they can cancel when they feel like doing so. 3. Parents must guide their children. As they are still a child teach them the right things to do. Parents must not let their child to do the same bad things that they have done in their past. 4. Do not let things pass so fast. Everything we wanted most will come right on time, thus, creating greater fulfilment and contentment in life. Meaning, what life may offer is too different from what we want in a rush.

C. Questions:

1. In what way does the title suitable to the story? 2. What the carabao represent dodong life in the story of footnote to youth? 3. How does Jose Garcia Villa describe the youth in the story of footnote to youth?

You may also be interested in the following: footnote to youth reflection

Footnote to Youth Essay

American Wedding Essay

American Wedding Essay.

In the United States, the traditional western wedding custom is the bride usually wears a white dress and a veil to cover her face. She carries a bouquet of flowers and usually has something old (like a grandmothers necklace) something new (her dress) something borrowed (jewlery or a handkerchief) and something blue (a garter or underwear item).It is a long standing custom and it considered good luck for the bride. The bride and groom do not see each other the night before and up to the wedding ceremony.

The bride usually has bridesmaids and the groom has groomsmen – the number of bridesmaids/groomsmen is up to the couple.

I would say most wedding have around 4-5 bridesmaid . The ceremony usually takes place in church or in a chapel. It begins with the bridesmaids and groomsmen march down the aisle,and then followed by the ringbearer and flowergirl, then the bride is escorted down the aisle by her father. After the minister/priest gives a brief speech about the importance of marriage, the couple then says vows to one another (may be traditional or written on their own) and exchange rings.

The couple is pronounced man and wife, have their first “married kiss” and then proceed down the aisle. (The traditional ceremony itself is often conducted by a religious leader known to the bride and/or the groom.

The ceremony may include wedding vows written by the bride and the groom, in which they speak of their love and their desire to make their partner safe, happy and secure, and to be faithful to their partner and their partner alone for the rest of their lives. ) A reception is usually held after the ceremony. After dinner, the couple cuts the cake so that it may be served to guests during the special dances, has their first dance and then other special dances (father-of-the-bride/bride, mother-of-the-groom/groom, bridal party) occur. Then the dance floor is open for all guests to enjoy. A few hours later the groom removes the bride’s garter and performs the garter toss to all the single men. Then the bride throws her bouquet to the single ladies.

American Wedding Essay

A Wedding I Have Attended Essay

A Wedding I Have Attended Essay.

Last year, I went to Taiping to attend my cousin’s wedding. She, unlike most of my family members, is a Christian. So, this was the first time I have been to a Christian wedding. Her wedding was held in the Chinese Methodist Church. The wedding had two receptions in two different places, one in Taiping and another in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. This marriage was traditionally done every step of the way. The marriage and betrothals were made a year ago by both bride and bridegroom.

During the engagement, the bride and groom exchanged rings as symbol that they have tied a knot together. I could see the look on my cousin’s face that day, something that I cannot describe in words. She was grinning from ear to ear and I could tell she was really happy and also anxious at the same time. The engagement was held at the bride’s in Kuala Lumpur. Although it was just an engagement, it was held grandly because my cousin was the last one to get married in her family.

All of my family members came all the way to Kuala Lumpur to see her get engaged. On the exact same day, the couple announced that their wedding will be held on the month of September. The reason they chose this date is because they believe that the safest season to get married is between the month of harvest and the month of Christmas, when food is plenteous. On the wedding day, the bridegroom was smartly dressed in a tuxedo. On the other hand, the bride looked stunning wearing a picturesque white gown and her face covered with a veil. Everyone was seated in the church with the groom and his best man, waiting for the bride. After a few minutes of waiting, the bride finally arrived. She was walk down the aisle by her father. This is one of the traditions of a Christian wedding.

This indirectly shows that, when her father gives his daughter away, he is giving his blessing to the couple and acknowledging that her family approves of her choice. As she walked through the hallway of the church were the groom awaits, she was escorted by two flower girls, two pageboys and a few bridesmaids. The flower girls, who were looking very pleasant, threw flower petals on the floor. The pageboys on the other hand, were carrying a ring each. The bridesmaids consists of my cousins close friends were just overlooking the scenario. As soon as the bride was on the stage, where the bridegrooms was, my uncle handed over his daughter to the groom.

Then, both of the bride and bridegroom kneeled down in front of the priest. The priest asked them the usual questions that are always asked in a Christian wedding. After both of them said “I do”, the bride and the groom exchanged rings. The priest pronounced them husband and wife, and his last word to the groom was “you may kiss the bride” indicates to the groom to kiss the bride and indirectly telling them that they are legally together as husband and wife. After that, my newly wedded cousin and her husband walk down the aisle again as husband and wife. Outside, a red Ferrari was waiting for them to take them to a fancy restaurant where the wedding reception is held. Me and all my family members followed their car from behind giving the newlyweds.

A Wedding I Have Attended Essay